"Did you ever notice that when you walk into a spiderweb you suddenly become a ninja?"
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life."
"How do you expect kids to listen to their parents, when Tarzan lives half naked, Cinderella comes home at midnight, Pinocchio lies all the time, Aladdin is the king of thieves, Batman drives at 200 mph, Sleeping Beauty is lazy, and Snow White lives with 7 guys. We shouldn't be surprised when kids misbehave, they get it from their story books."
"Today, I spent five minutes shaking a bowl of Jello because it looked cool. I regret nothing."
"Nobody trips over mountains - it's small pebbles that make you stumble. Simply pass safely over all the pebbles, and you'll find you have crossed the mountain."
"Faith is when you walk to the edge of everything you have and then taking one more step."
"If you stumble twice on the same stone then you deserve to fall."
"We start in diapers, we end in diapers. Try not to get too hung up on the crap in between."
"Dream big. Worry little. Work hard. Learn lots. Live large. Love all. Be strong. And let go..."
"Life is beauty, admire it. Life is bliss, taste it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is too precious, do not destroy it. Life is life, fight for it." ~Mother Teresa
"As long as we continue to think we will be happy in the future, we will never be happy in the moment, and that is the same as saying that we will never be happy. If we think that our lives will be better when we get that better job or retire, stay or go, gain or lose weight, or when our children grow and leave or come back, we are putting off the happiness that there is in today."
"The shadows of yesterday have faded away. The sun has reappeared. New day means new blessings. Don't let yesterday's failures ruin the beauty of today."
"Today is the youngest you will ever be. And the oldest you have ever been. So live it up! Life is no dress rehearsal; it's the real thing."
"A mom is someone who holds a child's hand for a little while but their hearts forever!"
"Google must be a woman. It knows everything."
1.
"Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you want to, but you can only spend it once. So don't waste it."
"Regret looks backward. Worry looks forward. Faith looks up."
"If you can't fly, then run. If you can't run then walk. If you can't walk then crawl. Whatever you do, keep moving forward."
"Saying 'We can still be friends', is like saying 'Your dog is dead, but you can still keep it.'"
"Count your blessings, not your problems."
"I just ate a 'time to unbutton my jeans' type of meal. Tonight I am so thankful for the food in my stomach, something I think I take for granted way too often."- Me
"I need a warm sunny day or a winning lottery ticket to take me to one."
"When fear knocks at your door, have faith answer it."
"Being the youngest child is the biggest compliment! Think about it. Your parents finally got it right and decided they didn't need to keep trying!"
"If something is unladylike or fattening it's probably a lot of fun..."
"In order to succeed in life you need 3 things: A wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone. A wishbone so you can dream. A backbone so that you can stand your ground. And a funny bone so that you have the ability to laugh and learn from your mistakes." -Reba McEntire
"Advice of the day: Don't be a douche."
"When you are in the forest and you encounter a bear, you don't have to outrun the bear. You just have to outrun the other person."
"The hotel shampoo smelled like meat mixed with flowers. Hopefully the animals at the zoo today won't attack me!"- Me
"You know you are too fat when you do jumping jacks and you hear clapping but there is no one around."
"Whatever you are, be a good one."
"Don't be afraid of tomorrow, for God is already there. Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow. People gather bundles of sticks to build bridges they will never have to cross."
"If you don't have at least one hater, then you're not doing something right."
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."
"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength."
"I like long walks. Especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I."
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time. Enjoying one moment at a time. Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace."
"Promise me you'll always be happy by my side. And I'll promise to sing to you when all the music dies."- Train
"Ladies, just because it zips, doesn't mean it fits! And PS- there is nothing sexy about camel toe."
"Life is tough! Get a helmet."
"You're so fake, even Barbie is jealous."
"Some days you're the dog other days you're the hydrant. You've just got to take the bad with the good."
"There are no "bad" days, just inconveniences. Every day is good for something. Just be happy that you were given another day."
"The best things in life aren't things."
"Don't be afraid to try something new. Remember amateurs built the ark. And professionals built the Titanic."
"Worry pulls tomorrow's cloud over today's sunshine."
"Do what you love, love what you do, leave the world a better place and don't pick your nose."
"When life throws you tough questions...don't worry you will always find the answer on Google."
"Fun fact: The first jockstrap was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. It took men 100 years to realize that the brain is important too."
"Before you judge me you better make sure you're perfect."
"When someone throws a rock at you, you have two choices... You can pick it up and throw it back, or you can collect those stones to build your castle."
"The 3 C's of life: choices, chances and changes ~ You must make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change."
"When life gives you LIMES rearrange them until they say SMILES."
"The American flag does not fly because the wind moves past it. The American flag flies from the last breath of each military member who has died protecting it. American Soldiers don't fight because they hate what's in front of them...they fight because they love what's behind them."
"Many people miss their share of happiness. Not because they didn't find it but because they didn't stop to enjoy it."
"Faith is walking to the edge of all you have then taking one more step."
"Life is like dirt on the carpet and you're the vacuum. You've got to suck it up and move on."
“A dad is a man who has replaced the money in his wallet with photos of his kids.”
"Don't lose your real self in the search for acceptance by others. Love yourself first and everything else will fall into place."
"Carpe diem- Seize the day! Make your life extraordinary."
"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away."
"True happiness doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you have decided to find beauty in all things imperfect."
An old man once said,"There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."
"The spaces between your fingers were created so that another's could fill them in."
"Sometimes the paths we take are long and hard, but remember those are the ones that lead to the most beautiful views."
Happy Wednesday!
